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We all know to add the words “in bed” to the end of the fortune in a fortune cookie. But what to do with the little messages printed on the inside of the Dove® Promises mini-chocolate foil wrappers?
Easy… just add “you sad, lonely fatass.”
My message today: Promise yourself a smile today you sad, lonely fatass.
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Scott Plummer 08.31.06 at 1:04 pm
Not to be critical, but we usually phrase it “Lonely, sad fatass”. I’m sure your interpretation comes under the aegis of poetic license.
Rob 08.31.06 at 1:17 pm
You leave the writing to me, Picture-boy.
Terry 11.21.06 at 2:39 pm
“Temptation is fun. Giving in is better you sad, lonely fatass.”
My coworker and I laughed our butts off (not quite literally) at your post. We were searching to see if Dove created a site for e-cards with equally lame quotes. Thanks for filling that void of disappointment with something equally hilarious.
Rob 11.21.06 at 3:34 pm
Glad to help out, Terry.
By far, I get more site referrals for the words “Dove Promises” than anything else I post here. Apparently there are a lot of sad, lonely fatasses out there.
Dawn 02.25.08 at 10:42 pm
Dove is love, you sad, lonely fatass.
amber 05.22.08 at 10:45 pm
these promises are so ridiculous, i had to google them & since i did, here are mine:
sing along with the elevator music, you sad, lonely fatass
&
sometimes one smile means more than a dozen roses, you sad, loney fatass
aw.
dave 06.27.08 at 3:27 pm
Watch reruns. They play your memories, you sad, lonely fatass.
skye 09.09.08 at 11:00 am
Make “someday” today you sad, lonely fatass.